Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be away from my blog for a year! And I am sitting here, actually shocked that it has been so long since I sat down to write anything. I have had good intentions and I have started several different blog posts over the past few months, but the fire just hasn’t been in my heart. Lately, The Lord has been pushing me in my spirit to return to writing but I keep finding reasons to avoid it. The biggest issue with me is a lack of discipline and drive, somewhere I just lost it! Have you ever felt that way? I find myself saying….” If it isn’t urgent or life threatening, then it’s on tomorrow’s do list”. The problem is that tomorrow never comes… it’s always TODAY!!!! DUH! Anyway, the Lord has been pricking my conscience about neglecting what He asked me to do and I have answered, with good intentions, “OK, Lord, I’ll get back to it…… tomorrow”. Because He never gives up, He has, now, started sending people (not one or two but lots of people) to ask me why I stopped writing my blog, people I didn’t even know were reading it in the first place! I give up, Lord… Today is the day!
I hate roller coaster rides… I don’t like to feel as if I am falling with no one to catch me. But I have been on a 13 month “yeehaw ride“ that makes roller coasters look like child’s play! For me, it all started with double knee replacement last June. My last post went out just before the surgery and in my “delusions of grandeur” I thought I would have days on end to read and write on my blog while I recuperated…. LOLOLOLOL! Who knew my brain would go on a long hiatus? I am not pushing meds, but, honestly, pain pills when you have double knee replacement, are a necessary evil! And my brains went to mush!!! My sweet husband, who became chief cook and bottle washer at our house, would ask, “Sandy, do you want tea or water for supper?” … I had no idea, I was a blank, and for a million dollars I couldn’t have made that decision with any accuracy! The simplest thought processes became monumental. Enough said! Thank goodness I didn’t try to blog!
Just as I was starting to return to normal, 8 weeks into my recovery, Bill and I were in a horrible wreck. Praise God, my knees were undamaged and both Bill and I survived as did the little girl who hit us. But it was not without some serious injuries. While Bill had some bad scrapes and bruises, I ended up being life-flighted to Altoona Hospital with a collapsed lung, 4 broken ribs and more pain meds!!! Funny story…. The first night in ICU, I was praising God all night long that my knees weren’t bothering me at all because usually I had a hard time getting comfortable… no discomfort, no pain, what a miracle! I kept thanking Him for taking care of my knees and allowing me to just concentrate on my ribs and lung! A nurse came in as I was praying out loud and I was telling her about my miracle, my new knees were barely 8 weeks old and they weren’t bothering me at all! She started to laugh and almost couldn’t stop… her next words were…. “Honey, pain meds work all over your body not just on your ribs!” Then, it hit me…I would have laughed, myself, but it was too painful – broken ribs! (My brains had once again turned to mush!) I am sure God was laughing too! He has a great sense of humor!
Fall came with Thanksgiving and then on to Christmas. We were praising God for His goodness. He had indeed been faithful and restored us fully, beyond what we could have imagined. I healed completely and life got back to normal, whatever that is… (by the way… I LUV my new knees! ) Bill hung up his apron and went back to doing “guy stuff” and I returned to being chief cook and bottle washer! New Year’s Eve was celebrated with great gusto… our sweet neighbors had experienced a 2016 equally as chaotic as ours … surgery and a wreck for them as well… so we rejoiced (partied hardy, actually, which included noise makers and funny hats ) to see 2016 end, at last.
Bring on 2017!!! And it began with much promise! March was glorious! My parents celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary. Such a rare and precious experience! Only .01% of all marriages reach that milestone, heady stuff! At 95 and 97 years of age, both of them are healthy and doing well, so cute and still very much in love. God has so blessed our entire family! Their legacy is amazing! Children and grandchildren are all following in their steps with sound marriages and wonderful families! Bill and I just celebrated our 50th anniversary and our daughter, Wendy and her awesome husband, Robert, will celebrate their 25th anniversary, all in 2017. God is good!
Still on a high and rejoicing in God’s goodness in 2017, April came with the promise of spring. And then… our family was rocked with a tragedy of crushing proportions … we lost our precious daughter-in-law, Nikki. She was bright, beautiful, full of promise and only 30 years old… there were no answers to the whys and this time, there were no pain meds for the ache! Picking up the pieces has been an ordeal for us all, both our family and Nikki’s, but God has been so faithful and He has been there every step of the way with His love and strength. Our son, Dusty, has been amazing! It has been hard to watch him and not be able to help as he traverses this tough path, but he has walked through this nightmare with his heart broken and yet with such a quiet spirit in the midst of the storm. He is strong in the Lord and God has brought him to a place of peace (still waters). Nikki’s memory will never be far from our hearts, there are tears on occasion and a remaining hole in our family but life goes on. I find myself asking so often, how can anyone survive such pain without the Living God at the center of life? He has been so close and so real. The Healer is at work!
So, here I sit in July, 2017, thinking about all that has happened in the past year and about all I have learned along the way, about myself and about life in general, at the gentle hands of the Holy Spirit. Even gently, some lessons have come to me like a smack to the back of my head, very humbling! Who knew I still have so much to learn??? God, of course…
LESSONS I LEARNED IN THE CRUCIBLE!
- God is God and I am not!
- God is always faithful, even when I am not… He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow with no shadow of turning. I can trust Him every minute of my life and He will always be a very present help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16)
- I am not as much in control of my life as I thought. I am the kind of person with plan A, B and C and if all else fails, pray! The Lord once told me, when I was in another crucible, I was holding on to the things of the world so tightly that I had let the kingdom of God slip through my fingers. I am learning to hold on to God and His Kingdom and to give Him complete control (or should I say, relinquish my control) and to be at peace with having no “fall back” plan of my own. (Matt. 6: 25-33)
- Plans for your future don’t always work out like you thought. But God’s plan is always best! (Jer. 29:11)
- Receiving kindness and help from others is really hard when you are an independent minded person with a Type-A personality (personal pride is at the heart of that… and it’s not attractive). Allow people to be gracious to you, to help you and to be an encouragement, because they are blessed in the process.
- Out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaks – we talk a good game when the pressure is off, but, when in the crucible, the abundance of your heart is laid bare… Beware!!! (Matt. 12:34-37)
- The Holy Spirit really is the Comforter, Teacher, and Intercessor and I need His presence every day. I am not nearly as smart as I like to think I am!
- Keep it simple stupid! Enough said…
- Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that He produces in us and that grows stronger when exercised with life’s struggles … it is not a product of our doing or struggling nor is it an answer to our prayers… It comes to us when we are rooted and grounded in the Lord, as do the other precious fruits of the Spirit that we desperately need when trouble comes… love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and temperance. Fruit should be produced BEFORE the storm hits… it’s practically impossible for God to produce any fruit in us when the winds are at gale force! And that’s our fault, not His! (Gal.5:22-25, Eph. 3:17-21)
- You can be sympathetic with others when they are going through trials (a safe place to be), but once you have been through those trials yourself, you become tender and empathetic toward hurting people and that has its own personal pain.
- When going through a storm you sometimes wonder where God is, but when the storm blows over, you can clearly see His fingerprints through it all from beginning to end, you just have to look! (Is. 43:2)
- What the devil means for evil in your life, God will turn to good because He loves us and that love is constant and unchanging. (Rom. 8:28, 35-39)
- Praising God in the middle of the storm is really hard, but it brings the peace that passes understanding to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Don’t dwell on the circumstances of life, but think on the God of our victory. When Paul was chained in one of the worst prisons in the Roman Empire, he was teaching this lesson…” Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice! “ He didn’t mean to rejoice in the misery you face, but rather to rejoice in the God who makes the way out. Don’t dwell on your struggles and the storm but think on the God who is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, virtuous and of good report. Then fear and anxiety are dispelled by the Spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (Phil. 4:4-8, II Tim. 1:7)
- God is not the source of our troubles, He never gives us pain and heart ache to punish us or teach us lessons. He has no evil in Him, only goodness… (Only good and perfect gifts come from God…James 1:17) Troubles and heartaches are common to all of us in this fallen world, sometimes it’s a matter of reaping what we have sown, ourselves, but, when trouble comes He makes the way out! I Cor. 10:13 Press in, listen to Him and let Him lead you like the loving Shepherd that he is … He will lead you to still waters and green pastures! He will restore your soul! (Ps. 23:2-3) And our testimony of deliverance, preservation and blessing always brings glory to our gracious and loving Father!
Ferret of Faith 